It’s back. Get voting

We’ve spent the last five weeks tirelessly trawling through the hundreds of nominations we receive, narrowing the candidates down to just six.

But here it is. The short-list.

There’s already been more votes in the guys’ competition than the DSU did in their last election.

Who will win this one? It’s up to you.

We asked the girls a few questions to help you get to know them…

Tilly Thomas


Hatfield, Economics, from Hastings

Relationship Status: In a relationship

Favourite Chat-up Line? Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you

Favourite Sex Position? How can you decide?

Top notch rig or killer chat? Killer chat

Guilty pleasure? ABBA

Party trick? Tuck ears into a ball

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? Mix it up!

Wanda Fuglesang


Hatfield, Criminology, from Olso, Norway

Relationship Status: Single

Favourite Chat-up Line? Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Guadaloupe?

Favourite Sex Position? Surprise me ;););)

Top notch rig or killer chat? Killer chat

Guilty pleasure? Jason Derulo..sadly

Party trick? Back flip

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? All of the above

Rue Laidler


Trev’s, Biology, from Hong Kong

Relationship Status: Single

Favourite Chat-up Line? I like your shoes

Favourite Sex Position? I’m a virgin.

Top notch rig or killer chat? I don’t mind

Guilty pleasure? Birthday cake flavoured tea

Party trick? I have a pretty strong dump tackle.

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? Are we still talking about the dump tackles? (If so, hard and fast. No-brainer).

Annabel Flinn


Trev’s, Chemistry, from Horsham, West Sussex

Relationship Status: Taken

Favourite Chat-up Line? If you were a biscuit, you’d be a McFittie.

Favourite Sex Position? The angry pirate

Top notch rig or killer chat? Killer chat

Guilty pleasure? McBusted

Party trick? I can curl my tongue into a flower

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? Neither

Imogen Misso


Law, from London

Relationship Status: Confused and lonely

Favourite Chat-up Line? I bet your last name is Jacobs, because you’re a real cracker!

Favourite Sex Position? What’s sex?

Top notch rig or killer chat? No one talks to me

Guilty pleasure? Skipping church to finish my knitting

Party trick? The only time I’ve been to a party was when I was hired as a caterer.

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? My gums bleed if I brush my teeth too hard

Anna Kaye


Collingwood, Law, from Sweden

Relationship Status: Taken

Favourite Chat-up Line? Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve got a knife, get in the car

Favourite Sex Position? Strapped on top of a speeding bus

Top notch rig or killer chat? Impressive collection of Pokemon cards.

Guilty pleasure? 90s rap.

Party trick? Now you see me, now I’m drunk.

Slow and gentle, or hard and fast? Fast and furious (followed by a need for speed).

  • the watermelon

    ekin karasgurn

    • Shbanter

      Ekin Rackupaline-sin

      • the flautist

        Ekans kangaskhan

  • Tom Cooke

    Please stop writing articles.

  • Freddie

    Congrats, you win, people are annoyed with you on the internet.
    Don’t you have any more self respect than this? Get a grip and write something of note beyond sub-Katie-Hopkins-level antagonism. Page views ain’t everything.

  • The Pigeon Detectives

    Take Her Back

  • The Scientist

    Putting aside your ignorant idea that everyone’s snorting when in fact very few people outside of cellar door/cavern are ever on drugs, MD is cheaper than alcohol and less harmful. That’s science.

    • drugs are sssiiiick doe

      £40 a gram is cheaper than alcohol?

      • Sy

        When that contains up to 15 does yes.

        • addictman

          15 doses? I make that 2 doses… lightweights.

  • the facts man

    in the recent reclassification of drugs alcohol and cigarettes came first and second so essentially this whole article is pointless and incorrect.

  • daisy dares you

    just so so shit, not even the content, the actual writing, you’re shit at writing, i’d rather take ket than be such a poor journalist, fuck off

    • check yo self

      too many commas spoil the broth!

  • The Truth

    I’ve also seen the light Ekin. At about 11pm every Tuesday, walking home from Arena in a Tab t-shirt all alone stinking of Jager and ignorance.

  • Fred

    You are so clearly trying to create an argument that it has just become pathetic and pointless

  • Lexi

    stop trying to be controversial.

  • dog

    Id rather a line of coke than a jager bomb….

  • ketty john

    just bitter cos u want ketty john’s d

  • Sam Clarke

    2:2 material.

  • MC Tatt

    Fabulously funny article. Bravo.

  • G Money Money

    I personally fuckin love them. Can’t get enough me

  • Sarah

    Ekin, it baffles me that you continue to allow the Tab to use peoples hatred for you in order to increase their views. Your articles completely lack substance and it is clear you are sadly misinformed on the topics that you see fit to pass judgement about- the sign of a poor journalist.

  • Jimmy Russell

    Convenient that you ignore the fact that some of the drugs you mentioned are actually physically safer for you than alcohol. I actually feel embarrassed for you after reading this article.

  • P.I. Geon

    Someone can’t afford drugs

  • Mildred

    Most of the side effects you write about are FAR more common with alcohol than drugs, you clearly have no idea what you’re talking about.

  • S.C.

    You do realise that alcohol is a drug too, right? :/

    • Brasseye

      “Some people think alcohol is a drug…It’s not a drug, it’s a drink!”

  • anon

    i love ket

  • Rabz

    To be fair, I am getting a bit bored of the whole “Tuesday night, Cellar Door, MD” thing.

  • Sy

    Obviously not a science student. I’d rather take a drug proven to be safe such as MD than a extremely dangerous one like alcohol (Nutt, 2012). Do some reserach nect time.

  • TheOne
  • stop writing

    SPOTTED AT THE CELLAR DOOR: Ekin with hugely dilated pupils; bopping along to house music as if her life depended on it. Spot the irony

  • 21st Century girl

    I’m amazed we still live in a world where it’s acceptable to publish something that says women can’t screw in lightbulbs without men.

    • crm


      • jl

        I think it’s classed as a ‘joke’ maybe?…

    • YNWA


      • Reasonable man.

        You can’t trace one borderline comment back to a fault with all of feminism. Soz.

    • JCR Prem

      And acceptable to say that all boy’s houses smell like dirt, feet and sweaty ballsacks. And also acceptable to say that men piss on the floor and just leave it there.

      • Sense of humour

        Someone has a stick firmly wedged up their arse -_-‘ lighten up jheeze

        • Beasley2K

          It’s merely a retaliation to 21st Century Girl’s comment. It’s a bit hypocritical to imply that the light bulb part is sexist, but the bit about pissing on the floor isn’t.

          • 21st Century Girl

            A fair comment, and I agree completely :)

    • oh dear

      If you can’t change a lightbulb or don’t know how to use a screwdriver properly, then I am embarrassed for you, male or female!!

      • :)

        i cant change a light bulb. i’ve had a bedside lamp since september with no bulb, its really just there for decor . but im okay with that :)

  • Imogen

    Was almost with you til the ‘man jobs’ part. Grow up.

  • lol

    ‘No one to do man jobs’. OH GOD HERE THEY COME

  • TabLover420

    As if someone took the time to write this drivel. As if i actually took the time to skim read it.

  • lj

    I’ve lived in two all girls houses and not once has anyone baked

  • Professional Alcoholic

    Who the fuck brushes their teeth before drinking?

  • A Scientist

    The real danger is if their periods all sync up. Everyone knows that periods attract bears.

  • Lol. Just lol.

    The feminists somehow manage to make their way onto every Tab comment section and still always find some sentence/word that offends them.

  • MoronHunter

    Potpourri*, not “popuri”.

  • nobody

    It’s not being a ‘feminist’ it’s just being a realist! Sorry, but never have I met any girls who bake all the time? Err what a 1950s throwback! We don’t just leave our tampons everywhere..this is utter drivel. Not because it is sexist but because it is shit. You have no personality as it shows in your writing…please just give up. You’re never going to make it as a journalist.

  • 21st century boy

    I’m amazed we still live in a world where it is acceptable to publish something that says men aren’t capable of possessing ‘nice decor’ and aren’t likely to be bake cakes after uni.

    The outrage!

    Men for equal rights! say no to gender roles! say no to the daily discrimination of men in society!

    • Beasley2K

      I live with 2 girls and I’m by fan the cleanest, and have the most well decorated room.

  • Feminism


  • hbjhbkhjgv

    haha i find the comments a lot worse than the actual post girls get a grip you’re just embarrassing yourselves. i’ve lived in 4 all girl houses and i can definately relate to most of these, particularly the ‘man job’ part. yes maybe the photo of someone trying to screw in a lightbulb wasn’t quite realisitc but i’m sure it’s happened before so why take it so seriously? it’s not a representation of every single female out there and was only meant to be a joke anyway. lighten up!!

  • cheesypie

    What a cringey and unfunny article

  • Rachel King

    Not a single point actually relates to living with a girl as a human being or a friend; rather than a baker, cleaner or clothes hoarder. The things I remember about living in an all girls house are looking after each other, giving advice and having girls nights. Sexist shit, Robyn Shreeve. Tab unless you stop employing such idiots noone is going to consider you worth reading

  • Ryan Lavery

    Some articles on this website disparage misogyny and others play right into it, I really can’t tell what’s meant satirically and what isn’t.

  • BMLC

    Again, a disappointingly slapdash and pointless article from the Manchester Tab. Please step your game up and write about something of substance.

  • call me shirley


  • call me shirley

    I find this to be a bit sexist

  • Everyone

    Who the fuck let Wanda into this list.

  • The Massive Seagull

    disappointing..don’t think I would struggle with any of them

  • Hugh Hefner

    why is Anna Kaye on this list? A genuine 5

  • marcus Roche

    Again another average year to be honest, I would fancy my chances of catching one or two of their eyes

  • Pundamentalism

    Sometimes I really do Wanda how she got on this list.

  • Richard Martin

    Is this a badger friendly list? Cannot believe some of these entries. Got a fresher bird myself so I won’t be pursuing any of these mediocre sows any time soon but I dread to think of the influx of eager badgers in lloyds hoping to get a sniff in. Any of you nocturnal TB carrying fiends reading this be warned: the only thing I’ll be voting for is the cull.

  • Hal Stevenson

    ive tried it with all these girls. didnt succeed because apparently ive got shit chat. Obviously that is bullshit – read my fittest fresher profile. Besides they’re all fucking butters.

  • Matt “Big Dick” Scrutton

    Cornelie Demeure should be on here

  • Tom ‘the serial chopper’ Bland

    Please, I’d slay these birds with more vigour than my pheasant shooting. It could be said that I, the serial chopper, do indeed, have game.

  • Cif

    Rate Anna Kaye. AK47 amirite?

  • Josh JJ Jordan

    They would all be punching with me.

  • Ben Fothergill

    Where is ellena owen? #HeyBen

  • georgeandlaurence

    Where the fuck is Milana?

  • Tom Bender

    Wow, how dare you all. These girl have the courage to post photos of themselves on the internet and you assault them with your childish sexual
    advances and mean words? Did you think they were going to be interested in you? Do you have anything to say that isn’t wildly offensive to everyone here?

    I make a point of being kind to everyone I met, even on the internet.
    I don’t even know these girls but I know they are special and unique.
    Unlike you, I can see past their looks and connect with them on a level you
    could never.

    And to you, m’ladies, I just want to say that you take
    my breath away. You’re attractive in a way I have never seen and I hope
    one day I will get to meet someone as wonderful as you. Life will be
    beautiful on that day. I have already masturbated over all your photos over a doxen times. I love you and good bye. :*)

    • Luke fucking Burford


    • Jeffrey Spunk

      Tom Bender, you are a cretinous piece of filth, these m’lady’s as you call them deserve nothing more than to reside in the kitchen, the cleaning closet or the bedroom. People like you should be put into camps, if I ever see anyone with such a greasy neck beard I make it my sole endeavour to destroy their life in every way possible. I feel it is my duty to let you know I have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you delete your comment now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

      • Tom Bender

        What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little MRA? I’ll
        have you know I graduated top of my class in Women’s Studies, and I’ve
        been involved in numerous secret downvote brigades on sexist websites like this,
        and I have over 300 confirmed bans. I am trained in kink-critical
        Intersectional Feminism and I’m the top benner in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will
        wipe you the fuck out with precision doxxing the likes of which has
        never been seen before on this privileged white male shithole known as the Tab, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying
        sexist shit like “deserve nothing more than to reside in the kitchen” or the “bedroom” to me over the Internet? Think
        again, Nazi. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of student supporters across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you
        better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the
        pathetic little thing you call your IRL career. You’re fucking fired, non-
        neckbeard. I can be online anywhere, anytime, and I can get you
        banhammered in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my special
        friendship with the admins. Not only am I extensively trained in
        griefing The Tab, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the
        Fempire and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass
        off the face of the internet, you little shit. If only you could have
        known what unholy brigading your little “clever” mansplaining was about
        to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue
        instead of derailing. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re
        paying the price, you goddamn armband-wearing New Atheist libertarian. I
        will shit social justice all over you and you will drown in it. You’re
        fucking benned, shitlord.

        • Jeffrey Spunk

          Do you think I give a shit about your pathetic life story, if you graduated top of your class in women studies then you would know that women have 3 uses, those which I have already mentioned. If you think you can trace my ip i’ll have you know it’s been bouncing through more proxies than the amount of times you’ve wanked over these pictures. How are you going to “shit social justice all over” me, you can’t even get up from your own computer to take a shit without having to call for your carers to wipe your arse for you. That’s right you whiny little fuck go and continue studying for shitty fake degree in the social “sciences”. As for your comment about me being a nazi, I agree I am aryan, I am racist and sexist, but I do not agree with Hitler’s facist ideology. Now go and fuck yourself.

  • Teresa Leeming

    you’re all so brass, I should’ve been fittest fresher last year #squirrel

  • cosmo


  • Jack ‘The Chopper’ Raeburn

    Glad to see there’s no Hild Bede cunts on this list. For too long, our great university has been blighted by such self-entitled ponytail pricks (I’m coming for you Lebus; Reames I’ll see you in NOVA). On a more positive note, really glad to see such strong Trevs representation in this list. This day where such a fair and reputable list of attractive poontang has been assembled was a long time cumming, and I, for one, am glad to see Trevs finally put on the map (#trevstrevstrevs). Although, I am not interested in any of these wenches or their fairly strong Facebook profiles, for I, Jack ‘The Chopper’ Raeburn have been tied down by a FIT third year. But for how long, we shall have to see

    • Simeon ‘Whale Hunter” Greaves

      When does fattest fresher come out? For then I, Simon “The Whale Hunter” greaves shall strike. Also Arc can suck my megacock.

  • Danny Agar

    I’m Danny Agar and I score goals, but I wouldn’t score with any of these girls, in fact I wouldn’t ride any of them into battle!

  • Alex ‘Chopper’ Caplan

    Bit disappointing to be honest. I’ll just have to continue my sharking of Cuth’s first years in my desperate search for a chop.

  • Alex ‘Chopper’ Caplan

    Bit disappointing I’m afraid. Just gonna have to keep sharking Cuths first years in my desperate search for a chop.

  • Swanny

    Misso horny

  • Affa Awosika

    No one be rude about Immy. She’s perfect in my eyes.